Mediation or court: an honest comparison

Mediation is frequently presented as obviously better. It usually is. But it is not right for every case, and pretending otherwise leaves some people worse off.

Where mediation works well

• Both parties want to resolve matters and can communicate
• Financial disclosure is complete on both sides
• Neither party is significantly afraid of the other
• Parenting is the main issue and both are competent parents
• Preserving a workable relationship matters — which it does when you share children

Where it does not

• Family violence or a serious power imbalance
• One party refuses to produce financial disclosure
• Assets are being hidden or moved
• Urgent relief is needed to protect a child or preserve property
• One party simply will not engage in good faith

Cost

Mediation typically resolves in a handful of sessions. Contested litigation runs through motions, conferences and trial preparation, and can cost many multiples of that. The gap is large enough that it should be a first consideration, not an afterthought.

The middle path

Mediation with each party independently advised by their own lawyer captures most of the cost saving while ensuring nobody agrees to something they do not understand. For many families this is the right answer.